I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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