if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
farters have to be the big spoon...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
