Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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