as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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