Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
