I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
