i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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