I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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