this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
