5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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