their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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