I heard we made out
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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