Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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