Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize