i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
