The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
