im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
BRING THE BAGELS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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