Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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