I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize