i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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