i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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