Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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