i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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