Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
