Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize