You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
