The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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