he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
