I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
