hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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