That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
