margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
