dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
