Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
