ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
