it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i love accidental penises.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's not a foreskin expert like you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
