I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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