It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
