I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
