Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
PANTIES FOUND
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