I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
