she was so not down for the gang bang
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
