This is not my ceiling
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
