spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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