Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
