I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
