i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
