I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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