I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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