You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
