so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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