I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize