Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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