Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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