Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize