and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize