dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
