I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
