Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
